Told amanda to read my diary just now, and she read my last entry about amy..i think she got the idea i was trying to put to her.. This sucks, i’m getting very bad with my putting-fwd of ideas to ppl, but i think she can find someone better, dun need to rely on someone who can’t forget another someone… I can’t go on like this with amanda i realised, neither here nor there, and even though both of us say we are happy with current situation, i dunno about her but i dun really feel @ ease.. Somewhat i feel restricted by an invisible rope and my heart, i think there’s no space for anyone else for now..

I think i’m going mad, n to think that i max need 3 mths to get over her, considering we’ve been together for like a month? This has been a really long 4 mths and i’m nowhere near success. To think of it, it’s slightly more than 5 mths from the day we got attached, 4 mths since we broke up.. now, 28th August 2003: i still have our foto in my wallet.. I think she would have deleted all the fotos we took with her 7250 from her fone.. There’s nobody to replace her now, and the me now thinks that nobody can…

Really wonder want to call her or not…worried she may not pick up, and even if she does i may not noe wat to say too.. the me ppl see now is the one who seems very happy n positive, and active in uni, but sometimes i really wonder if this is just me putting up a strong front?