Make no mistake, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. The title is Shit! and of cos we are gonna discuss shit. You really thought that it’s shit as in shit, something gone wrong. No, it’s literal.

Most ppl would consider shitting to be highly-private activities, incl me. I mean, the removal of waste material from the body is like the bangla worker clearing the thrash @ the refuse centre for the hdb estate. It’s a necessary job, we appreciate it but that doesn’t mean that we are gonna celebrate it right?

Recently I’ve been surrounded by ppl who discusses shitting so openly that it makes me cringe sometimes. Talk about the mild cases first. Friends who are chatting with me over msn or in person, all is fine until they say “brb, gtg toilet”. Believe me, that is enough info liaoz, I dun need to noe wat you are going to do in the toilet. It’s ok, it’s not gonna raise my IQ or make my day to know what you’re doing in the toilet. Of cos some of them has to tell me, “i gonna shit” or “i gonna take a dump”.

Shitting is private, i dun even like to use a cubicle in a public toilet next to another cubicle where someone is obviously shitting. No i dun believe in “Shitting in unison” or “Giving each other moral support”. I dun wanna smell yours.

Not sure if anyone else saw this ad, but a nutrition company that was trying to peddle fibre pills put this ad in one of the local papers, Today or ST, can’t remember.

Floater or Sinker? The next time you visit the toilet and before you flush, take a look at your faeces. If it is a floater, it means that you have enough fibre in your diet. If it is a sinker, it means that you don’t have enough fibre. So are you a floater or a sinker? =)

Thanks to this ad, i’m looking down into the toilet bowl with greater detail these days. How bout those wanna-float-cannot-float-wanna-sink-cannot-sink types huh?

My mum is another one. She has a weak bowel so she always finds herself in situations where she has to cheong for toilet. Once in a while when she’s home n she needs the toilet, then zhun zhun both toilets are occupied. She will never bang the door when my tenants are inside, only bang door if me, my pa or my sis. 快点！！给我用！！ 要出来了！！ So even if u’re naked n half-soaped up while bathing, u better get ur ass out of the toilet. Failing to do so will result in retribution later.

So happens that last wk she chased my dad out from toilet while he was showering halfway. After that it would usually turn out to be peaceful until she came out w/o flushing n said that my dad’s underwear fell into the toilet bowl n she pooped all over it.
. …. ………. …………….

My dad to his credit suggested disposing it, but insisted that my mum had to retrieve it herself. No person is going to rumage thru his/her poop, much less someone’s else. So my mum, in her usual melodramatic self went to the kitchen, all the time muttering “臭死了”. Came back with a plastic bag to cover her hand b4 reaching in to pick out the underwear AND THEN PROCEEDING TO WASH IT. All the time telling me to come n see, of cos i refused.

I’m sorry if i have caused you to lose your lunch or appetite. haha!